Love me like a Friend
by FriendlyneighborhoodSatan
Summary: It really was a mistake, sleeping with Sherlock. They barely spoke anymore, and were hardly able to stand each other. John had been selfish, thinking he could have Sherlock as both a friend, and a lover. And Sherlock had been foolish in thinking he could keep his feelings in check. Second in my 'No Matter What' series. Rated for language and sexual references


Sherlock glanced to his right, silently observing John, who appeared to be having some sort of crisis on the other side of the bed. "This was a mistake." John said, seemingly talking to himself. "We shouldn't have done this, should we? Of course not, I have a wife!" he said, growing more and more distressed. Sherlock sighed, turning to look at John. "Oh please, don't be so dull John. We did it because you wanted to, and it'll most likely happen again. Don't bother with this nonsense, it'll be fine." Sherlock reassured, rolling his eyes dramatically. John glared at him. "No, this is _not_ fine, Sherlock! This is a problem." He insisted. Sherlock sighed, exasperated with his friend. "How is it a problem? Mary will never find out. She's too busy pretending to be normal to use her wits." Sherlock said, sounding bored with the conversation.

"Oh fuck you" John replied sharply, defensive of his wife. Sherlock gave him a smirk. The doctor got out of bed, glaring at Sherlock. He began to quickly put his clothes back on, as if he was desperately trying to escape the genius. "You're such a prick. I don't even know why we're friends." John spat, grabbing his shirt from the floor. Sherlock smirked. "So same time next week?" he asked, sounding as if he was positive John would say yes. "No, Sherlock, we're _not_ doing this again." He replied forcefully, swiftly exiting the bedroom. Sherlock shut his eyes, slamming his head into his pillow. He screwed up.

John came back the next week. He hadn't planned to, he certainly hadn't meant to, but he did. The second visit ended very much like the first, with them lying in bed together, talking. "If we're going to do this, we need rules." John said, breaking the post-coital silence. Sherlock turned to look at him. "What sort of rules?" he asked. "Well first of all, no telling. Ever." John began. Sherlock scoffed at him. "Oh right, like I'm just going to strike up a conversation with Mycroft about this." He said sarcastically. John huffed in annoyance. "Shut up arsehole, I'm not done." He snapped. "Second, none of this during cases. Keep that separate, got it?" he said. Sherlock nodded. "Third, you need to understand that this is just sex. Keep your feelings or whatever in check all right? I don't love you." John said. Sherlock winced slightly, stung by the words, although he knew it would be easiest if he heard them early on. "Understood." He replied stiffly, trying to keep the emotion from his voice. "Good." John said.

A few days after, Sherlock and John were called in for a case. Despite John's reluctance, the promise of some excitement pulled him in, and he found himself in Scotland Yard with Sherlock. As Lestrade explained the case to him, John couldn't help but notice the sideways glances Sherlock was giving him when he thought he wasn't looking. Had he always done that? John supposed he just never noticed. They hardly spoke to each other when they examined the crime scene, neither of them daring to break the silence after the fight. As Lestrade left the room with the body, most likely to go deal with one of his idiotic officers, Sherlock turned towards John, giving him a smirk before pulling him into a kiss. John quickly came to his senses, and pulled away before it could escalate. He glared at Sherlock. "What the hell, Sherlock? I told you not during cases! We could have been seen!" he shouted, seething with anger. Sherlock shrugged at him, and sauntered out of the room, leaving John to glare at him as he left.

After the incident at the crime scene, the boys didn't speak. Obviously they see each other, and John still came over every week, despite his best interest, but they hardly exchanged a word. Sherlock was torturing himself about it, analyzing all the stupid decisions he'd made in his mind palace. He felt himself slipping, but of course, he didn't count on one thing. John was a very forgiving person.

There was a knock on the door of 221B. Sherlock reluctantly answered, not sure who would visit him anyway. It was John. Sherlock didn't say anything, simply leaned in to pull John for a kiss. John stopped him, giving him the stern look of irritation that Sherlock had missed so much. "I'm not here to shag you." He said firmly. Sherlock was puzzled. The two of them hadn't spoken in ages; they'd even stopped going on cases together. So if John didn't want to shag, why was he here? "The what are you here for?" he asked suspiciously. John sighed, letting himself in to the flat, sitting down on his old chair. "I'm here to talk." He said. Sherlock raised his eyebrows, but nevertheless, sat down to listen.

"Look, Sherlock, this is a problem. I know it is. Shagging and not talking is making you mad, it's making me mad too." He began. Sherlock shifted his eyes to the ground, blushing at the thought of his weakness for John being so obvious. "Well yes, but it's not like we talked very often before, John. You have Mary, and the baby to take care of." Sherlock reasoned. John sighed, anger returning to him.

"And that's another thing, cheating on Mary is killing me Sherlock, I feel so guilty, and you don't give a damn." John said, voice rising. Sherlock exhaled slowly, in an attempt to calm himself. "You're right John. I have no sympathy for Mary, and I don't see why you still care about her. But I care about you. And I don't want you to feel guilty." Sherlock admitted, giving John an almost shy smile. John chewed his lip, thinking hard. "Sherlock, we can't do this anymore. We can't be friends with benefits if we're not even friends. It's ruining everything." John said.

Sherlock sighed, nodding reluctantly. "I suppose you're right. I um, I'm sorry John. I'm sorry for what I said, and I'm sorry for being so selfish." Sherlock said, voice low and quiet. John gave him a soft smile. "Fuck, I'm sorry too Sherlock. I used your feeling for my own benefit, and I was an arse about it. I'm sorry." John said. Sherlock got up slowly, approaching John. "So, friends?" he asked cautiously, sticking his hand out for a shake. John smiled, and gave him a firm handshake. "I don't get a kiss to seal the deal?" Sherlock joked, giving John the smirk he hadn't seen in a while. John laughed. "Oh shut up, bastard." He said. 


End file.
